We’ve all heard a bajillion times that meditation is good for us. But if you have ADHD, the whole thing can seem, well, torturously dull. Sit down, be still, and silently focus on my breath for 20 minutes? You must be joking.

But it turns out, meditation doesn’t have to be a snooze-fest or slog. The secret to a neurodivergent-friendly practice that’s truly satisfying and sustainable? “It’s all about making it work for you,” Jeff Warren, a Toronto-based meditation teacher with ADHD, co-author of Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics, author of the Home Base Substack, and cohost of the Mind Bod Adventure Pod, tells SELF. In practice, that means making meditation easy, interesting, and intrinsically rewarding enough that you’ll want to do it—not just feel like you should.

To help you figure out how to actually accomplish that, we tapped the real pros: meditation teachers who have ADHD. Not all of these suggestions will work for you, and that’s kind of the point. “Even within an ADHD diagnosis, there’s so much diversity,” Warren says. “It really depends on the person.” So take what works, leave the rest, and make it yours.

1. Don’t use meditation to try to “fix” your ADHD.

It’s an easy mindset to fall into, given meditation is often sold as a self-help strategy to improve what’s “wrong” with us—yet another hack to make yourself more calm, productive, whatever. But “you have to get away from thinking meditation is about trying to change who you are,” Warren says. “It's not trying to turn you into some super well-focused, perfectly balanced individual if that’s not in the cards for you.” That’s not to say meditation can’t be a way to manage your symptoms. Indeed, research suggests it can’t improve things like attention, executive function, and emotional regulation in people with ADHD. So if you’re reading this because you’re hoping to improve your focus or mood…hey, same. Just make sure you view meditation as a way to befriend and work with your uniquely wired system—not change who you are. “The core of meditation is acceptance,” Warren says. “I am still as ADHD as I’ve ever been in some ways. The main difference is, I kind of don’t want to be any different.”

2. Remember it’s so not about controlling your mind.

There are some misconceptions that might make ADHD and meditation seem like an doomed pair—like the idea that it’s all about quieting your thoughts or maintaining perfect focus. That’s the gist of some concentration practices, according to Jude Star, a meditation teacher and integrative coach who has a meditation for ADHD course. But he tells SELF that a better choice for most people with ADHD is mindfulness meditation, one of the most popular styles in the West (after being secularized from integral practices in various Buddhist traditions, that is). Mindfulness is a great match for those of us with ADHD because it doesn’t ask you to police your bouncy attention and it’s flexible enough to keep things interesting. (It’s also the practice we’ll mostly focus on here.) The gist is simply to meet the moment with a friendly awareness. “You’re relaxed, you’re aware of what’s going on, and you’re not judgmental about it,” Warren says. “That’s it.” You can bring mindfulness to any moment of your day (we’ll get to that), but to quickly recap a classic technique: Choose an anchor point for your attention, like the sensation of the breath. When you notice you’re lost in thought, gently return to that anchor. You’re essentially taking a step back and watching where your attention goes with curiosity and warmth—not judgment and control, Warren explains. Bonus points if you can actually laugh at what your mind gets up to. Have you heard that thing?

3. Aim for daily-ish.

Frequency trumps duration when it comes to building a habit (and reaping the benefits), so meditating daily is typically the recommendation. But strict daily practice can be unrealistic and lead to all-or-nothing thinking. A more forgiving goal is what 10% Percent Happier podcast host Dan Harris calls “daily-ish.” It’s got the same sentiment, but it gives you enough wiggle room to skip a day (or three) without beating yourself up, meditation teacher and ADHD coach Ying Deng, host of the ADHD Gathering podcast, tells SELF. To stay consistent, Deng also suggests coming up with a bare minimum practice that you can turn to when you’re especially busy or wiped. “Find the really, really easy version that you could potentially do every single day,” Deng says. That could be a one-minute meditation or even a single mindful activity—whatever feels ridiculously doable. “Doing more of what's easy for you is a good way to do more of what’s good for you,” she explains, noting that her go-to is brewing her tea mindfully, noticing the sound of the boiling water and the smell of the tea.

4. Choose an anchor point you actually dig.

While beginners are often instructed to use the breath as an anchor, that narrow focus can feel constricting or tedious for some people with ADHD, Star says. So if the breath bores the crap out of you, an auditory or visual anchor might be more stimulating or enjoyable. For instance, the soundscape around you or some ambient music can be pleasant and grounding, Star says. Or you might dig the spaciousness of meditating with your eyes open: Softly focus on one spot or take in your whole visual field, even letting your awareness seep into your peripheral vision. (It can get kinda trippy!) See what anchors make meditating feel more absorbing, pleasurable, or easeful for you. “If we can make the practice more engaging, it can hold our attention better,” Star explains.

5. Get curious about your bodily sensations.

It’s a lot easier to relax the mind when the body’s relaxed, Star says. But sometimes when people with ADHD try to meditate (or just chill out), they notice an uncomfortable physical restlessness. Since your mind is taking cues from your body, this creates mental agitation, too. That's why people with ADHD can often feel more stressed when they meditate, Star explains. But if you can bring kind awareness to your body, it changes the game. Practice opening to, exploring, and being okay with whatever body sensation feels like it’s getting in the way of meditating, Star says (antsy-ness, fluttering in your chest). Get curious about what it actually feels like. Is there a texture? A warmth? A tingling? As you stop bracing against the sensations, the discomfort can gradually start to dissolve, Star says—relaxing your body and mind. (When a sensation feels overwhelming, Star recommends shifting to a more neutral place, like the hands.)

6. Incorporate movement.

If stillness feels totally ugh, another way to work with your body is through movement practice. Star is a big fan of yoga and Qigong, a moving meditation from traditional Chinese medicine that involves mindfulness, breath, and slow, gentle movements. There’s also walking meditation, a foundational mindfulness technique. Your anchor is usually somewhere in the body, Star says, like the soles of your feet or the midline of your body. Deng also recommends slotting in meditation right after working out. Some people notice they naturally feel like they’re more in their bodies—or even in an almost-meditative state—after getting some restless energy out, she says. Take advantage by tacking on a few minutes of meditation to your cooldown.

7. Find meditative micro-hits.

If structured sits aren’t your thing, embrace informal mindfulness practices: Sensing into your feet while you’re standing in line, or the hot water on your skin in the shower. “You can get these little micro-hits throughout the day,” Warren says. Hands-on activities like cooking, knitting, or gardening can be very meditative, Deng adds. “When I’m baking, I’ll drop in and notice, What does the dough feel like in my hands?” Even those brief tastes can help you get out of your head, unwind some tension, and build the mindfulness muscle.

8. Use guided meditations liberally.

Not only are guided sessions useful for anyone learning WTF meditation even is, but they can also be especially supportive for people with ADHD. “It's so easy to lose the plot and drift off,” Warren says. “I've been meditating for 25 years and I'm a freaking teacher of meditation, and I will still wander off.” So it’s nice having a kind voice to geeently bring you back. And it’s not hard to find teachers you vibe with given all the apps out there.

9. Get comfy. If sitting on the floor in full lotus is your jam, have at it.

But forcing yourself into a posture that strains your body can create a not-so-relaxing experience, Star explains: “Comfort is primary.” Try a cushy chair or soft weighted blanket, or lie down with your knees bent. While you’re at it, light a yummy candle or incense to set the mood. “Anything that will help you relax is good,” Star says. Just don’t get too comfy. “You want to find the environment that makes you feel stimulated enough to not fall asleep, but not overstimulated,” Deng says. For some people, that's outside—nature can be both peaceful and lively.

10. Mix it up and follow your curiosity.

Don’t force yourself to stick with one thing. “If you have the impulse to explore and look for new things in general, then let that be how it’s happening in meditation too,” Warren says. Experiment generously with different teachers, traditions, techniques, and apps. Variety ups the novelty factor—which some ADHD brains find motivating—and helps you create a unique practice that truly suits you, Deng says. Let your curiosity lead you, Warren adds. If you’re intrigued by Buddhist philosophy or the neuroscience of mindfulness, geek out. Read a book, take a course, go on a retreat, join a local or virtual meditation community. (Bonus tip: You might like the community aspect.)

11. Show yourself a whole lotta love.

Neurodivergent folks often deal with shame and a harsh inner critic, so our experts recommend weaving self-compassion into your mindfulness practice and daily life. When you notice nasty thoughts come up, take a moment to give yourself some compassion: a deep breath, a hand on your heart, some kind words you’ve been needing to hear. You can also explore metta or loving-kindness meditation, a powerful Buddhist practice where you send love to other people before channeling it towards yourself, Star explains. “To bring that compassion and acceptance to ourselves? That’s huge,” Star says.

Original article appeared on SELF US