Woman unhappy about her partner’s relationship with his ‘work wife’. File picture: Timur Weber / Pexels
A bride-to-be doesn’t want her fiancé’s “work wife” at their wedding because not only is she too close to her partner but because she’s trying to insert herself in their wedding planning.
The 29-year-old woman took to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” page to share her frustration and to ask users if she was being unreasonable.
Excited about marrying the love of her life in a few months, she says that they have been planning the wedding for over a year but unfortunately, there’s a person who is casting a shadow over everything and that’s her fiancé’s “work wife” Lily.
Providing a bit of background, she shares that her fiancé and Lily have been friends and co-workers for about five years.
“At first, I was honestly relieved he had a good friend at work, especially since his job can be demanding and a bit isolating. I tried to be the cool, understanding partner who wasn’t bothered by how close they were,” she writes.
However, she does admit that over time their bond has become something she doesn’t know how to handle.
“Lily is a huge part of his life. They text constantly, often late into the night about everything from work issues to little jokes,” the bride-to-be continues.
“She knows things about him that I sometimes don’t, and it stings to realise how much he turns to her for advice and laughs instead of me.”
“My fiancé reassures me that they’re just friends, that she’s his ‘work wife’ and that it’s no big deal. But it feels like she’s gotten so close that I’m sometimes the one on the outside looking in,” she adds.
To her annoyance, Lily has now started chiming in with her “opinions” on the wedding.
“She had suggestions about our venue (‘It doesn’t feel like him’), our flowers (‘he’s never liked bright colours, remember?’), and even my dress, mentioning off-handedly that she ‘knew his style’ and could help me pick something he’d love. I tried to laugh it off, but it hurt more than I wanted to admit. Here I am planning my wedding, and I felt like I had to measure up to her view of who my fiancé is,” she shares.
To make matters even worse, Lily ruined their engagement party as well.
At the party, she noticed that Lily was always glued to her fiancé’s side.
“I tried to join their conversations, but every time, she’d bring up a work story or inside joke that left me feeling like a third wheel at my own engagement. Then, in one of the worst moments, I walked up just as she was saying, ‘You know, if you change your mind, you could always marry me instead’. My heart sank. I didn’t know if she was joking or half-serious, but my fiancé laughed, brushing it off like it was no big deal,” she writes.
“The last straw came toward the end of the night. Lily had had a few drinks, and she came up to me, asking if I was ‘really okay’ with how close they were. She said something like, ‘I mean, I can’t imagine him with anyone else’. It felt like a knife to my chest. I wanted to scream, but instead, I just walked away.”
Later the evening she told her husband-to-be that she didn’t want Lily at their wedding, that it was too painful to have someone there who clearly saw herself as part of their relationship.
She says that he then got defensive, saying that she was overreacting and letting jealousy ruin a friendship he cherishes.
He even implied that uninviting her would “damage his reputation” at work.
He’s now barely talking to her because he says she is “making him choose” between his best friend and her.
“I don’t know what to think anymore. I feel hurt, small, and like my feelings don’t matter. My friends support me, but his friends think I’m overreacting and letting insecurity ruin our relationship,” she adds.
She concludes by asking Reddit users: “AITA for asking him to uninvite her from our wedding after everything that’s happened?”
Many users have responded saying that she’s not in the wrong and many are suggesting that her partner and Lily are in fact having an emotional affair.
“NTA but to be honest, it sounds like the two of them are having an emotional affair. Her comments are completely inappropriate and your fiancé‘s willingness to side with her and choose her over you is hugely concerning,” commented one person.
Another wrote: “NTA. BUT, you have a much bigger issue than an invitation. Your fiancé is having an emotional affair with Lily. Your relationship has already been damaged by his actions. You should postpone the wedding at the very least and get couples counselling. MAYBE you two have a chance if he realises his part in damaging your relationship.”
“‘Work wife’ or ‘work husband’ is a disgusting way to accept an emotional affair,” responded someone else.
IOL Lifestyle
Related Topics: