Stop scrolling, start engaging: expert tips for better focus during conversations

As the festive season approaches, we look forward to more social gatherings filled with laughter, stories and making memories.

But have you ever noticed that you sometimes feel mentally drained after these events?

What if the real reason isn’t just the noise of the crowd, but something we might be doing without even realising it?

Brain health expert Lev Fomchenkov of Cosmic Nootropic shares some important insights into our habits during social interactions and how they can affect our focus and memory.

Fomchenkov explains that the biggest threat to our brain health in busy gatherings isn’t the noise or the number of people around us. Instead, it’s the phone we often hold and keep checking while trying to have a conversation. 

"Many of us don’t notice that looking at our phone while talking can actually harm our brain's ability to focus and remember what others are saying," he says.

When we glance at phone notifications while having a conversation, it divides our attention.

"When you're splitting your attention between a conversation and your phone, not only are you being rude, but you're actively weakening your brain's ability to process and store information," Fomchenkov explains.

This divided focus makes it harder to remember what was discussed, which can leave us feeling mentally exhausted.

How does phone use damage cognitive function?

When we can't put our devices down, it negatively impacts our brains in four key areas:

• Memory retention: Your brain has trouble making memories when you divide your attention. This is why you may have to ask someone to repeat what they said or forget important stories later.
• Attention span: Constantly checking your phone makes it harder to focus. "What starts as occasionally checking messages becomes an inability to focus on a single conversation for more than a few minutes," says Fomchenkov.
• Emotional regulation: Being present helps you understand the feelings of those around you. Your phone can distract you from picking up on important social cues.
• Processing speed: Switching between your phone and the conversation slows your brain down, making it harder for you to think clearly and respond promptly.

He warns that "the damage isn’t always immediately obvious, but after a while, you might notice you’re more forgetful and find it difficult to stay engaged."

However, it’s never too late to practice being more focused during conversations, whether with family or friends.

Here are four tips to help improve your ability to pay attention when socialising:

1. Create phone-free zones: Pick certain times or spots where phone use is off-limits. For example, during meals or while opening gifts. 
2. Practice the two-minute rule: Try to maintain eye contact and full attention for at least two minutes in each conversation. Starting small can help improve your focus over time.
3. Use active listening techniques: Show you care about what others are saying by nodding, asking questions or repeating parts of what they’ve said. This is both polite and a great way to enhance your memory.
4. Schedule device check-ins: Instead of constantly checking your phone, set aside specific times to do so, like once every hour. 

Fomchenkov points out that distraction-free conversations offer more than just the ability to remember what someone said.

By giving your full attention, you build stronger connections in your brain that enhance your memory and emotional intelligence.

"When you give your full attention to social interactions, you're strengthening neural pathways that support memory formation, emotional intelligence and mental agility. These benefits translate into real improvements in how your brain functions day-to-day.

"By putting your phone away and engaging fully with the people around you, you're training your brain to sustain attention, process information more efficiently and regulate emotions more effectively."

The holiday season is a perfect chance to practice these skills in a relaxed setting.