The Discombobulator and the Board of Peace
From The Barrel
US President Donald Trump could not wait to share with the world the news of his wonder weapon.
Image: AFP
UNITED States President Donald J Trump could not contain his bubbling excitement. He could not wait to share with the world the news of his wonder weapon. Hardly 30 days had effluxed since the kidnapping of a sitting Venezuelan head of state, Nicolas Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores, DJT effusively bragged about the “Discombobulator”.
In his own words, or a proximate deciphering of the self-aggrandising president, this silent weapon that is new, powerful, devastating, which does very, very bad things without exploding and can kill scores of thousands, is beautiful.
This wonder weapon with an even more bewildering epithet may have been a sci-fi contraption from Star Trek, popularised in video games of that era. Its comical-sounding name notwithstanding, the terrifying weapon held its weight pound-for-pound when measured against its fictional avatar during the Maduro kidnapping.
According to the effusive gesticulations of the Second Coming President, the weapon did what it was designed to do. With prescience, it disoriented the Venezuelan people, making them confused, vomiting blood, and eventually killing one hundred innocent victims. It also disrupted the Venezuelan forces’ electronic devices and their interceptor technology.
The entire system was wholly incapacitated with stunning effect, no pun intended. And that’s precisely how the Donald wanted it!
Even to a casual observer, it may seem that Trump was describing the methodology and effects of the weapon much like the incident that happened in the US embassy in La Havana, Cuba, eight years ago. Could it be that the US deep state was using Cuba as a guinea pig for testing the efficacy of the wonder weapon and then blaming it on Cuba? Who knows? Who can tell with certainty what the covert machinations of the masters of the universe are!
In the end, the wonder weapon and its deleterious predilections obliged DJT’s pernicious bidding. And in a real-time Kafkaesque transmogrification, the instincts of the weapon and the intuitions of the US President became indistinguishably morphed into a singularity, so that the weapon became the President of the United States. And as for Trump, he reincarnated into the Discombobulator!
There is something odd about the many interlude epics on the Nobel Peace Prize and Trump’s obsession with it. Perhaps the oddity is in the haphazard crafting of its narrative. Hitherto, nothing suggests that Trump does not know how to pressure someone somewhere in Europe in general, or Norway in particular, to get the Peace category of the Nobel Prize. Nor can one be persuaded into believing that the entirety of the CIA universe and the reach of its influence is completely incapable of surreptitious ways to have their president somehow guaranteed the nomination and consequently, awarded the prize without contestation.
What is certain, however, is that President Trump despises so many of the previous awardees of the accolade, or Barack Hussein Obama to be specific. In his visceral detest for the award and its recipients, he is avowed to show the world two things. First, that the award signifies nothing of consequential import, and second, that even war mongers can get it. In short, he has the commitment to denude the intellectual pretence behind the nomination rationale and, in a coup de grace, humiliate its recipients!
During the few critical days leading up to the announcement of the 2025 Nobel laureate for Peace, Marco Rubio, the US Secretary of State, is said to have called someone at the Alfred Nobel Trust and instructed them to award the accolade to Maria Colina Machado of Venezuela. The fact that she is a dangerous war monger should not matter. And when she got it, she would tearfully and reluctantly surrender it to Trump. Deal!
Julian Assange, the inimitable Australian journalist and the most impactful practitioner of his craft, has been offended by this process. He has sued the Alfred Nobel Trust and its hapless trustees. Trump wouldn’t be bothered. If Assange succeeds in his application, the court may compel the repayment of the million dollars from Machado. But Trump would never give back the symbolism gifted to him unsolicited!
No matter. The US President has gone on to establish a permanent peace façade called the Board of Peace. He has the experience. Once removed from Twitter, as it was called at the time, he went on to create his own. Truth Social! Even though the Board of Peace may look like a fiduciary compliance team of a construction company, it commands a whopping $1 billion for affiliation, payable every three years into a specially created account domiciled somewhere in Qatar or wherever the Trump family elects.
The Board of Peace has an interesting emblem. Its outer periphery resembles that of the United Nations Organisation, UN for short. It is common cause that the olive branches on both sides of the UN emblem stand for peace. It can equally be argued that the olive branches on the logo of the Board of Peace also stand for a kindred value.
Donald Trump has his own understanding of the virtues of peace, however. His is peace through strength. In other words, for there to be peace, a lot of Venezuelan fishermen and countless Iranians must die first.
In the case of the central icon of the logo of the Board of Peace, it has the map of the USA covering some parts of South America and the northern hemisphere. Or simply, that area covered by an amalgam of Donald and Monroe, now known as the Donroe sphere of influence, depicted in an azimuthal equidistance, just like that of the UN.
Be warned, the Discombobulator is on the prowl, looking for victims. Theoretically, any country could be a target. For now, however, there is a list containing potential countries which do not need further justification for attack. The groundwork has already been laid. In that category, there are Colombia, Mexico, Canada, and Greenland, the colony of the Kingdom of Denmark.
The Danish government is perplexed as to how it even got into that list. To be sure, the colonising Kingdom is reluctant to even sell Greenland to the US. The last time they sold all their Caribbean islands to the US, the US on-sold their central jewel to Jeffrey Epstein, now infamously known as Epstein Island. By Jove, see what the cat dragged in!A while ago, there was a special list of three countries ready for attack, at least according to Trump and Marco Rubio. Even more importantly, Senator Lindsey Graham, the foreign policy czar of the US, confirms the existence of this list as well!
On the commanding heights of that list is Iran, which is an immediate and pressing priority for the Israeli lobby. Second, there is Cuba, an obvious ideological and existential crisis for the Cuban immigrants and their preeminent lobby evangelist, Marco Rubio.
Third, which is a surprise elevation into that list, is Iraq. Iraq walks into the theatre of conflict because the leading Prime Ministerial candidate in the ongoing Iraqi elections is Nouri al-Maliki, the former Prime Minister from 2006 to 2014. Considering that he led the Islamic Dawa Party, a Shia Islamist organisation with strong links to Iran, it is feared he may perturb the US/Israeli plans to blockade Iran and attack Tehran from all sides.
As a result, the US has issued warnings to the Iraqi voters not to bring him back to power. Bad things will happen to them.
Predictably, the US armada and other naval assets are headed towards and converging around the Persian Gulf. So are the bombers stationed in Qatar and in the neighbouring region being readied for combat. Venezuela 2.0 or some complicated kinetic version of it is about to unfold with ferocity and devastation.
In fact, the attack on Iran is bound to be the fiercest on record, intended to cower the Persians forever. The plan is to have some disintegrated parts of a defeated Iran carved out to various parties, including Israel. The ten million people living in Tehran may be completely wiped out to achieve this objective. In real time, we may witness the wiping out of an entire nation with a discombobulating weapon that would forever alter the course of human history and the contents of its relations.
Trump is an avid scholar of stoicism. Or, in his spirited defence, a follower of William C. Fields. So many complex phenomena whose artistry remains shrouded in mystery shall be attributed to the folly or genius of POTUS 45 and 47, as the case may be!
But, in order to navigate the complex planes of geopolitics during a tempestuous Thucydides moment, he had to adopt the most astounding quote of Fields, which even Fields does not believe in its authorship. “If I can’t dazzle them with my brilliance”, Bill is said to have opined, “I shall baffle them with my bullsh*t!”
And so, ladies and gentlemen, the US is proud to present to you… DJT, the Discombobulator!
* Amb. Bheki Gila esq. is a Barrister-at-Law.
** The views expressed here do not reflect those of the Sunday Independent, Independent Media, or IOL.