PHYSICAL abuse and other violent crimes against women and children have been identified as a primary concern in South Africa amidst various socio-economic and political challenges.
Mass media and social media platforms have all given importance to violent acts of abuse. These measures have indeed guided people to identify violent acts and seek help if need be.
The impact of emotional and psychological trauma experienced by a victim of physical violence is painful, challenging, and conflated with perceptions of blame, responsibility, and acceptance. Similarly, the impact of verbal abuse is equally as painful but destructive to the self, and one’s dignity is eradicated.
Physical violence has always been far more identifiable by many in society than verbal violence. More than often, the perpetrator of verbal abuse will selectively know when to be abusive and when not to be, and very often, it happens behind closed doors. The mere fact that no one knows about these acts makes it easier for perpetrators to continue communicating in this manner.
Accepting these acts of abuse as a normative practice is the only choice for many victims. This decision is often influenced by numerous factors, such as female economic dependency on male partners who are the perpetrators of violent crimes and patriarchal cultures that give value and power to silencing women who are victims of both physical and verbal abuse.
Verbal violence is prevalent in all sectors of society, despite varying educational levels, income groups and broad socio-cultural factors.
Women often remain silent to avoid society’s speculation and negate attitude. Sometimes women are coerced and forced into silencing their experiences by patriarchal families that are more concerned with the possibility of reputational damage.
Within these scenarios, abusive behaviour has been normalised, and there is minimal concern for the victim and the impact of the damage. Female victims often fear sharing their experiences because they can be easily embarrassed, mocked and misunderstood by many who are so brainwashed by patriarchy as a way of life. Many individuals within our circles will confidently justify a perpetrator’s actions of verbal abuse.
In these circumstances, sometimes women find themselves struggling to identify precisely what verbal abuse is, and how to manage a way of speech that is prevalent within the social circles to which they belong. This uncertainty and lack of understanding of what defines verbal abuse and what does not, contribute to a continual habit of women choosing to be silent about these experiences, which in turn are interpreted by many as verbal abuse being acceptable and permissible.
Some interpretations and definitions can be identified or labelled as verbal abuse. This can be difficult as individuals are often verbally abusive while arguing or disagreeing. The descriptions of verbal abuse are broad, multiple, and inclusive.
For instance, behaviour patterns such as bullying, insults, ridicule in the presence and absence of someone and demeaning language all fall within the broad spectrum of verbal abuse, verbal violence and hate speech. They all have a common factor which is a painful and negative psychological impact that the victim experiences.
The need to distinctively classify verbal abuse as it is is pivotal in educating each other about the intricacies and impact of this behaviour, but the first step is identification. The sharing and communicating of instances amongst victims and or dear ones is central to appropriately comprehending the experience.
The choice to silence experiences of verbal abuse has a detrimental impact on the development of society and future generations. As women, we need to play an active role in standing against the various forms of violence and discrimination against women. The tendency to be silent and put aside these experiences indicates that this behaviour is permissible and acceptable to our younger generations, mainly the girl child.
If verbal abuse is showcased and identified publicly, society can then learn to negate this practice and become more concerned with the impact of verbal abuse. Through awareness, and an attempt to minimise the negative perceptions and stigmatism attached to victims of violence, we can collectively influence those around us to identify violence as it is in its various forms.
As women, we have a responsibility towards each other and our broader society to contribute to eradicating violence among us. This we can only achieve collectively if we prioritise this endeavour. We should encourage victims to share their experiences through mass and social media avenues that are easily accessible.
This can assist people in developing their knowledge of what constitutes verbal violence and what does not. Identifying these behaviours publicly can contribute to developing new societal normative practices and a better living environment for each South African. After all, we all have the right to human dignity and respect.
Dr Sheetal Bhoola has a PhD and two Master’s degrees in the social sciences. She is a lecturer, researcher and a freelance writer. Bhoola has been the recipient of awards and academic scholarships throughout her career. Visit www.sheetalbhoola.com