Friendships often last longer than romantic relationships and, during that time, a deep trust may be established. Friends are typically the people we turn to for support during tough times, including breakups.
Arguably, losing a friend can hurt more than the loss of a romantic relationship.
When a long-standing friendship ends unexpectedly, it can be difficult to move on. There are several reasons why this might be the case, including not being ready to let go of the past.
In a touching story that's grabbed the attention of users on X, Khadijah A. Robinson opened up about the heartbreaking experience of losing her best friend after two decades of friendship.
The tale highlights the often overlooked subject of friendship breakups; a topic that Robinson believes does not receive enough attention.
In a candid conversation, Robinson shared: "One of the most painful things that ever happened to me in my LIFE was when my best friend of 20 years completely ghosted me. Less than two weeks after I served as the maid of honour in her wedding."
The bond between Robinson and her friend was no fleeting high school connection.
"We met in 5th grade. We'd been friends since. In high school, I moved away and we were so close that our families discussed actually letting me stay and live with her fam so I could finish high school. We both went to college in Atlanta.
"I LOVED her to death. She got pregnant the year after college graduation and I planned her baby shower from London," Robinson recalled, highlighting the lengths she went to maintain the relationship, even when they were continents apart.
Diving deeper into their history, Robinson revealed: "I am her son's godmother. I routinely flew back to Atlanta (while broke and in school) just to spend time with my godson and with her."
In a testament to their bond, her friend called her to be the maid of honour at her last-minute wedding — a request Robinson accepted without hesitation, even amidst her personal turmoil.
So, we talk a bit about friendship breakups, but not enough. One of the most painful things that ever happened to me in my LIFE was when my best friend of 20 years completely ghosted me. Less than 2 weeks after I served as the maid of honor in her wedding. pic.twitter.com/sFVJNOgjQ4
— Khadijah A. Robinson (@dijadontneedya) March 12, 2024
“Now, to add colour to this - I was going through the worst break-up of my life (at the time). My ex and I lived together, were under contract to buy a house together, and were planning to get married - when I found out he was lying about his life and money and was an alcoholic.”
I am her son's godmother. I routinely flew back to Atlanta (while broke and in school) just to spend time with my godson and with her. She called me the week that she was getting married (it was a last min wedding) and asked me to come be her maid of honor. And I didn't hesitate. pic.twitter.com/4n09w9GH6q
Robinson continued: “I had to put him out of the house and come up with his portion of the money to buy the house, or I would forfeit the earnest money that I had already paid - which was more than $30k.
“I was SO stressed out, just a crying wreck all the time. I still came to her wedding for her.”
“A week after the wedding, about 2 weeks before my house closing, she calls me crying and asking for money. She said she was facing eviction (which she never told me before even though I'm a lawyer and could have helped). She told me she would pay me back within 3 days.”
"I told her I HAD to get my money back to close on my house because everything was falling on me alone now," the woman recounted.
"She told me she took a 401k drawdown and it was on the way."
Despite her financial constraints, Robinson handed over a substantial sum, feeling compelled by her love for her godson and the fear of him ending up on the streets.
Little did she know that this act of kindness would lead to the unravelling of a 20-year friendship.
After the loan was made, her best friend ceased all communication, leaving her feeling abandoned and betrayed. Despite receiving a partial repayment from her friend's husband, a significant amount remains unpaid to this day.
"That was the last time I had a real conversation with my best friend," Robinson said. "She stopped answering calls after that."
"Honestly, the breakup of my relationship paled in comparison," she confessed. "I had been with him 2 years. I had been with her for life. I couldn't BELIEVE she would do that to me, and just cut me out like that."
"I felt for years like I could never trust anyone again," she admitted. "No one had my back. The only people I should ever deal with had to be related to me, and even still. I was a paranoid and depressed wreck."
Despite the pain she endured, Robinson revealed that she has made strides towards forgiveness, demonstrating empathy and compassion in the face of her friend's betrayal.
"I think I've mostly gotten to a place of forgiveness," she said. "Her father passed away last year, and I called her to check on her multiple times and also contributed to the go-fund-me for his funeral expenses. I genuinely felt for her."
While she has extended support during her friend's time of need, Robinson acknowledged that she still mourned the loss of the deep connection she once shared with her friend.
The enduring sense of betrayal had left her yearning for the closeness and trust that defined their lifelong friendship.
"But I do still mourn that closeness we had, or that I thought we had. That lifelong friendship that I assumed would be there."
Robinson shared that the experience had instilled a profound sense of self-preservation.
"I will say that since then, 'no' has become deeply embedded in my DNA. And I say it frequently," she admitted. "I'm sure that lesson had saved me from other, potentially harder ones."
Robinson wrote that losing a close friend can hurt even more than the end of a romantic relationship. She shared what most of us can relate to, how deeply emotional and painful a friendship breakup can be, highlighting the lasting impact it can have on a person.
"But yeah, the moral of the story is, those friendship breakups can be worse than romantic ones," she concluded.