How to have compassionate conversations about mental health with your kids

Begin the conversation by expressing your love and adoration for your child. Picture: Keira Burton/Pexels

Begin the conversation by expressing your love and adoration for your child. Picture: Keira Burton/Pexels

Published Oct 24, 2023

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During Mental Health Month, it's crucial to address the common yet isolating experience of mental health struggles, especially among young people.

Unfortunately, youth mental health has been deteriorating over time, with an alarming increase in the number of young people seeking help for their mental well-being.

Additionally, the Covid-19 pandemic has taken a toll on the mental health of youth aged 11-17, who have been more susceptible to moderate to severe symptoms of anxiety and depression, according to the World Health Organization.

Recent statistics reveal that 1 in 3 people in South Africa experience a mental health issue.

In light of these challenges, it is more important than ever to foster open, honest, and compassionate conversations about mental health.

Creating a home environment where emotions can be discussed openly and without shame is crucial for families and anyone involved in the lives of young individuals.

By acknowledging the existence of stigma while assuring them that it is safe and encouraged to share their feelings, we can address their concerns and provide much-needed support.

Dr Hina Talib, a paediatrician and adolescent medicine specialist, on behalf of Unicef, offers valuable insights and tips on how to initiate these conversations:

Start from a positive perspective

Begin the conversation by expressing your love and adoration for your child. This can be done during moments of laughter, sharing a joke, enjoying a favourite snack, or watching a show together.

By starting from a positive place, you create an atmosphere of warmth and acceptance.

Choose the right time

Avoid having these conversations when emotions are running high or first thing in the morning when neither you nor your child may be in the best emotional state. Find a calm and relaxed moment when you can both focus on the conversation.

Listen more, talk less

One of the most crucial aspects of these conversations is ensuring that your child feels truly heard. Aim to listen more than you speak. A helpful tip is to try and say only half of what you initially planned to say.

Be mindful of your emotional reactions, as even a seemingly small comment, eye roll, or sigh can have a significant impact on future discussions about emotions.

Talk together about mental health (at their level)

Sweeping mental health experiences under the rug can contribute to shame and stigma. A good way to open this door could be to talk about it as it comes up in your family, the community, or even in the news.

A reference to someone they admire might be a good start.

Take a breath and respond mindfully

If you find yourself becoming emotionally reactive, take a deep breath or pause before responding. It's important to approach the conversation with a calm and understanding demeanour.

This will help create a safe space for your child to express themselves without fear of judgement.

Collaborate and seek permission

Work hand in hand with your child and ask for their permission on how they would like you to respond. Sometimes, they may simply need to vent or figure out the next steps, with your guidance as a backup.

Respecting their individuality and involving them in the decision-making process empowers them and strengthens the trust between you.

Remind them you're on their side

Above all, reassure your child that you are on their side, no matter what. Let them know that your love and support are unwavering.

This reminder will provide them with the comfort and security they need to open up and seek help when necessary.