If I ruled the world, even for a day (though I don’t think I could keep it intact that long), I would banish political analysts and replace them with comedians. Political analysts are a bore - they try to sound smart even when things aren’t complicated because they want to justify why they’re called Dr So-and-So. If I could be called Dr Ngidi, I would let everyone know it. I would play around with big words in this paper and wear glasses. I can’t spend all that time studying while other people are out partying and I don’t let it show when I am done.
The other reason I would let comedians replace political analysts is that they do a better job at it in a humorous way. One of the most profound analysis on President Barack Obama’s tenure came from a comedian, Chris Rock. He told Vulture TV that if he was in Obama’s shoes, he wouldn’t have bailed out the automobile industry after George W Bush left it in a mess and struggling financially.
“When Obama (was) first elected, he should have let it all just drop,” Rock said. “Let the automobile industry die. Don’t bail anybody out.â€ù
Rock added that Obama should have “let it all go to hell, knowing good and well this is on them (his predecessor). That way you can implement (your plans). He could have got way more done. You know, we’ve all been on planes that had tremendous turbulence, but we forget all about it. Now, if you live through a plane crash, you’ll never forget that. Maybe Obama should have let the plane crash. You get credit for bringing somebody back from the dead. You don’t really get credit for helping a sick person by administering antibiotics.”
And there lies Steve Komphela’s problem at Kaizer Chiefs. Instead of burning the unstable Chiefs he found already in flames, he tried to douse the flames while building on a foundation that wasn’t his with certain tools that were blunt. All of this happened while he also tried to instil his own imprint. He administered antibiotics on a patient close to his/her deathbed. To a degree he succeeded; he finished fifth with an average team. They could have finished higher had they not drawn that often, 13 times, more than any other club. The problem wasn’t so much losing; it was that they couldn’t win.
It got to a point where things were so muddy it was hard to see where the problems he inherited ended and where his own failures started. He ended up taking the blame for everything, even for management’s shortcomings of not giving him quality players. The club admitted as much, not in words, when they let go of almost all the signings they made for him at the start of last season as they prepared for this campaign.
Even though there wasn’t a marquee signing like their rivals, Chiefs gave Komphela a decent squad this season. The common thread in the players he brought to Naturena was that they were unfinished products, rough diamonds he could mould into something good. Komphela specialises in this. He has started well, picking up 10 points in their first five games where Hendrick Ekstein and Michelle Katsvairo have looked promising.
Though Amakhosi started well this season, Komphela can’t escape the shortcomings of last season which weren’t entirely his doing. The problem with Komphela, who is gifted with a silver tongue, is that he spent most of last season doubling as a spokesperson. He glossed over their failures, saying the team did well when they didn’t. If he allowed things to burn to the ground and then build from it, he could have been free and honest in his assessment.
But that’s in the past. He looks to have weathered the storm, with the club now sailing in calmer waters.
It’s important he stays there because Komphela isn’t just representing himself. He is also representing South African coaches, especially black coaches, who are rarely given such responsibility at big clubs. If you are those people who say you don’t see colour, go play with crayons while I continue here because some of our club owners do see colour.
Komphela admitted that when he took over at Amakhosi, his success or failure would not only reflect on him but also those looking to come after him. It took Chiefs 21 years to hire a local coach on a permanent basis when they hired Komphela. It’s up to him to show that nothing succeeds like success.
Saturday Star