Dear Shakes Mashaba, it is my understanding that by the time you read this you might already be clearing your desk at Safa House with tears streaming down your face - regardless of Tuesday night’s result against Egypt.
I really hope the rumours are off the mark, and that your title as Bafana Bafana coach will remain as is in the lead up to the 2018 World Cup qualifiers next month. But several things have to change, Bra Shakes, like contradicting yourself in public and the much-talked about selection criteria. Because it’s really annoying.
Apparently your bosses are quite peeved, too. You might wonder why they waited so long to decide they are finally going to discuss your future, long after it was clear the national team would be missing out on next year’s Africa Cup of Nations (Afcon) in Gabon. As far back as March, we all knew our hopes of seeing Bafana in the continental competition were doomed. But your bloody employers figured it was okay to string you along. How could they be so heartless? You are a grandfather after all.
If it makes you feel any better, coach, I’m also a little miffed. It would seem they were all divided. But you have disappointed all those who backed you, all those who thought you should finish your tenure, which included two mandates of taking the team to Gabon and then to Russia in 2018. They basically gave you a rope, Bra Shakes, and you have been slowly hanging yourself.
On Monday you argued that you don’t understand why people criticise you. In case you forgot, you are a national team coach. Ask your cricket counterpart Russell Domingo about his hot seat and he might just tell you to suck it up. If that’s not convincing enough for you, go ahead and ring up Allister Coetzee, he will probably not mince his words about pressure.
You also said your critics need to elaborate when they hammer you for your failures. It sounds to me like the heat you’ve been taking recently baffles you. Well, here’s the thing, coach, if you are not winning matches, spend most of your time taking on journalists and turning every press conference into a tense affair, then you are on a hiding to nothing. These are the things you need to change if you somehow keep your job. And I hope your Safa bosses are honest enough with you.
I really do hope you survive the axe, despite our previously rocky relationship. Remember when you called me a …. Agh, that’s all in the past. Sorry, I lost the plot for a second. I was saying if you manage to hold on to your plush gig, you should really go back to the drawing board. You have lost your way, Bra Shakes. Please do us a favour and go find that lovable man who took over the Bafana job in July 2014, qualified for the Afcon in a few months later, spoke Zulu at a press conference and gave SA journalists an extended English version inside a taxi to show solidarity after we were mistreated by our Algerian friends and wouldn’t pick a fight with a fly. Come back to us, Bra Shakes.
Yours sincerely, Mazola.
@superjourno
@extrastrongsa
The Star