By Sharon Gordon
Johannesburg - Whenever I hear the word Tantra Teacher, I immediately think of scam artists. I know it’s unfair to generalise, but I’ve just never had a great experience. I think it might be because I am a cynic and almost always refuse to drink the kool aid.
Tantra has survived for thousands of years, a bit like Ben Wa Balls, so there has to be something in it.
Everything I’ve read and every course I’ve been on alleges that you can bring more pleasure and sensuality into your sex life, by taking up the ancient practice of tantra!
We often think of sex as something that is passionate and unbridled, but sex is about more than physical pleasure and enjoying your partner’s body.
There can also be a deeper, spiritual connection. It can be a sacred time in which you and your partner are alone in your own private space of intimacy and pleasure.
It can sometimes be difficult to slow down and feel this intimacy, especially since many of us have a hard time living in the present, inside or outside the bedroom.
There are many techniques you can implement that will help you and your partner to slow down and appreciate sex on a whole new level.
Tantra has been practiced in Eastern cultures for thousands and thousands of years.
There are many different forms and definitions, but one of the widely accepted definitions for tantra is “weaving.”
In its many other forms, this weaving can refer to the weaving together of different ideas, forms of worship, and rituals. In tantric sex, you are weaving together your soul with your partner’s soul, mind and body.
Tantra is about unity, enlightenment, and slowing down long enough to enjoy and understand the amazing sensory experiences that the human body is capable of experiencing.
Tantric sex can help to get you and your partner refocused and reconnected in a spiritual and sexual way, bringing you more physical pleasure and intimacy than you ever thought possible.
The practice holds a lot of promise for those suffering from premature ejaculation, the most common sexual problem among men. Plus, learning to control your own pleasure during sex can lengthen your sessions and take orgasms (for both of you) to brand-new heights.
It starts with a simple breath — both of you must learn to breathe in a way that taps into your sexual energy and amplifies the moment.
Each time you take a deep breath, imagine the oxygen connecting with your genitals and waking up that area of your body.
Next on the tantra to-do list is for your partner to learn to contract his pubococcygeus (PC) muscles when he feels himself getting close to orgasm. This will take practice. The best way to find them is to stop urine flow. Those very same Kegel exercises that work for us can offer him mastery of his erectile function.
Tightening the PC muscles during sex keeps a man's arousal in check, taking him back from the brink of orgasm and allowing the sexual experience to continue. In fact, creating waves of near-orgasmic bliss leads to a more powerful orgasm for him and perhaps even multiple orgasms for you!
The main difference between regular and tantric sex positions is that tantric positions are designed for purposes beyond sexual gratification.
They are meant to connect you deeply and soulfully with your partner. This ancient practice celebrates the powerful vibrations between sex partners, and it enriches each stroke and touch.
While pleasure is certainly not forbidden — and is often experienced — the positions are intended to heal what ails you physically and bring you closer to your partner both spiritually and emotionally.
Tantric sex positions can be a great way to break out of a stale routine and try something new. They require you to move your body in certain ways and to hold positions that might normally be considered uncomfortable or difficult.
Many of the positions are intended for specific sexual problems, such as difficulties with orgasm, premature ejaculation, and low libido. Others are designed to treat more general health concerns, such as headaches and depression. Positioning the body in specific ways stimulates various pressure points on the penis and in the vagina, and ultimately leads to healing. According to Eastern medicine, the most powerful pressure points on the body are located on the genitals.
Tantra can help increase sexual enjoyment, extend play, and help keep you and your partner in the moment. Tantra teaches you to slow down, breathe deeply. And experience sex on a spiritual level as well as on a physical level.
There is no rush to the finish line and no script delineating beginning, middle, and end.
Instead, you should focus on connecting with your partner. Practice ‘soul-gazing’ in which you eat and sit facing each other, looking deeply into each other’s eyes. Sync your breathing so that you are breathing together.
Touch each other from head to toe, exploring each other’s bodies and sensual spots. Remember, there is no need to rush to orgasm. The journey is more important than the destination.
You may even have been practising the art without even knowing it. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve never had great success with face-to-face teachers, but there is loads of information available online and some wonderful books that can teach you all the fabulous positions.
Just remember to stretch first and take it slow – Move into the more difficult positions when you’ve mastered the simpler ones. As I write this I have hurt my back and can barely walk. I wish I could say that it was from practising some new position but alas I was getting into my car!
Finally, tantric positions may help you and your partner discover a few hot spots you never knew existed! Wouldn’t that be a fine thing?