Sex is a funny thing. From the time our adolescent hormones kick in we begin to fantasise about the perfect, delicious union with a hot mate. When teens experiment with kissing and petting, you can guarantee that uppermost in their minds is not their first billion made via online social networks in 10-15 years’ time. It’s hot sex.
Sure, we all dream of making buckets of money. But money doesn’t drive the world. Sex does.
The average teenaged guy spends much of his time fine-tuning his hunting skills in pursuit of the finest female(s) around. He also hones his masturbation skills, sometimes competitively in groups. And it’s fair to say the stronger his masturbation urge, the more likely he is to be a premature ejaculator as an adult (Knock! Knock! “Jack, what are you doing in the bathroom?”) – but I digress.
The average teenaged girl plays coy games with her suitors publicly while indulging them secretly behind the school tennis courts, hoping not to get found out. She’s unlikely to admit to masturbating, even if she knows where to start. And wouldn’t dream of it as a group event, dahling.
And right here is the last bastion of gender inequality. Which creates a sizeable social problem. At an early age, most guys learn what excites them to erection, and they figure out what to do to take an erection to its successful conclusion. It’s fair to say that in pursuit of the orgasmic high, their imagination knows no bounds.
In contrast, most girls don’t use solo play to figure out what gets their juices flowing, let alone how to stroke their clitoris to a successful release. In fact, most girls probably have no idea that statistically speaking, they are unlikely ever to have an orgasm purely through penetrative intercourse (what most people think of as “sex”).
So while guys learn how to get themselves aroused and reach a climax, relatively few girls do. When becoming intimate with a woman for the first time, most guys have little idea of her anatomy, sexual arousal and sexual release – and sadly, the same goes for many women.
But the guy figures out damn quickly how to stimulate himself to ecstasy while with her. And hopes that in the process the earth will move for her too. Which mostly, it doesn’t.
My point is, why does the average girl expect her guy to show her how her body works sexually when in fact he usually has no clue? (And if he’s “learning” from porn in absentia of the real deal, he’s already horribly misinformed.)
All of which leads me to my list of eight good reasons why young ladies should learn to masturbate:
1. If you learn how to coax, toggle and jiggle your clitoris and surrounding glorious bits to an orgasm by yourself first, you will be that much wiser when it comes to gently guiding your (potentially clueless) lover to please you.
2. Sex is healthy. It boosts the body’s immunity, reducing colds and infections, and lowers your risk of depression. Because orgasms have a healthy effect on the heart and immune system, they may increase longevity.
3. The more you have sex, the more your body will want it, because sex stimulates testosterone. Learning how to have wonderful (and multiple!) orgasms while masturbating and getting in touch with your sexual self builds desire for sex, which is important in intimate relationships.
4. Women who’ve learnt how to arouse and pleasure themselves don’t expect their lover to excite them and take them to a climax, which takes the pressure off their partner. Sexually assertive women are a turn on for most guys.
5. Once you’ve experienced the thrill of an exquisite orgasm, you’ll know the intense pleasure your body is capable of and you’ll crave more. In a relationship, you won’t accept boring, orgasm-less sex with your lover. You can poke, tease and teach, if you need to. And most likely you will.
6. Women who aren’t shy to self-pleasure are more likely to be sexually adventurous with their partner and to keep their sex lives exciting because they’ve tasted how good it should be. And want to keep it there. A great sex life is an important part of a good relationship – while bad sex is just plain bad news.
7. Orgasms are fun – and masturbation-fuelled orgasms won’t lead to pregnancy (unless you’re into mutual masturbation and his seed spills a bit too close for comfort) or sexually-transmitted diseases (ditto). Oral sex givers can also collect some nasty STDs. In contrast, masturbation is good, clean fun.
8. And finally, orgasms relieve menstrual cramps. The cramps are the result of muscle contractions around the uterus and intestines, which can be eased by orgasms. What’s more, women often feel a spike in desire at this time of their menstrual cycle, so a bit of manual release is an all-round win-win situation. - IOL
WIN WIN WIN
Win the award-winning We-Vibe II, worth R1189!
This vibrator is revolutionary as it is worn internally by a woman while making love with her partner. It conforms perfectly to the female shape as it curves in a 'U', with one end snuggling against the G-spot and the other hugging the clitoris. It is so small and neat that instead of interfering with sex, the focused vibrations enhance the woman’s love-making experience dramatically.
To win, email [email protected] by 12 noon on Tuesday March 22.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
* The winner will be notified by email.
* The administration of the giveway rests with the sponsor, and they allocate the giveway. IOL takes no responsibility for the giveway, and all queries need to be directed to the sponsor.
* You may enter as many times as you wish
* The giveway is not transferable and cannot be redeemed for cash.
* The giveway will be posted - please supply a South African postal address.
* Employees of IOL, the sponsors & their agents, or any company associated with the giveway & their immediate families are not eligible to enter.