Man wants to leave sick wife: ‘Our sex life has been non-existent for 5 years’

Man wants to leave his sick wife. Picture: Pexels Alex Green

Man wants to leave his sick wife. Picture: Pexels Alex Green

Published Nov 7, 2023


A 41-year-old Reddit user is considering leaving his wife who is suffering from depression, frequent migraines and inflammation.

The husband took to the app to share why, after 10 years of marriage, he wants to leave his 40-year-old wife.

He said that her mystery illnesses, that doesn’t show up on test results, have caused their sex life to dwindle, she sleeps for 12 hours every day and doesn't contribute to the upkeep of the house.

Regardless of all of that, he still tried to motivate her to go to therapy and work on her mental and physical health for six years before giving up.

“Our sex life has been non-existent for five years. I've tried to do what I can to support her, but she needs to take it seriously,” he said in a Reddit post.

“It’s been years of me bearing the burden of running the house, doing all the chores, spending quality time with the kids on the weekend, and planning family events.”

He is the sole breadwinner of the family and works a highly-stressful job with long hours.

“When my wife is awake, she’s usually lying down and watching movies by herself. She also sometimes drives the kids to and from school, and occasionally does dishes,” the father-of-two added.

“I want to stand by her, but I also want more. I want someone who wants to go out to eat, who supports me when I am having a bad day, who is awake for breakfast and wants to talk to me. I want someone who can help shoulder the burdens of life.

“I feel perpetually tired, alone, and starved for affection. I’ve told her what I need, but those hard conversations only put more stress on her and nothing changes.”

He said that the only reason he’s staying in the marriage is for the sake of the children.

“I also don’t know how she would manage on her own. But if I stay, I worry I won't be able to find a way to be happy again.”

Many Reddit users supported the husband in his decision to leave his wife.

“I was with my last girlfriend, but no kids, no shared home. She became more and more depressed and participated less. I broke up with her and became a whole different man. Best thing I did,” responded one user.

Another said: “As someone who struggles with mental health issues, you have gone above and beyond for your wife. She refuses to accept help. Ultimately she is an adult and is accountable for taking steps to fix her health issues.”

But others claimed he was self-centred for giving up on his sick partner.

“They warn women who are given terminal or life altering diagnoses to get their affairs in order before telling their spouses because the number of marriages that end with a bad diagnosis is quite high,” said one woman.

While another wrote: “You sound very selfish. I get wanting more out of life but you made vows to your wife: 'for better or for worse, in sickness and in health' ... and you aren't upholding those now that she actually needs you.”