Johannesburg - As thorny issues go, raising the subject of child-free zones becomes pretty prickly pretty quickly. It’s because this is a conversation less about children and everything about parenting.
But it’s a conversation that took centre stage last week with the widely debated decision by a Randburg country venue and spa, Blandford Manor, to impose a “no under-15s” rule. They’re not the first establishment to do so, however, and are unlikely to be the last. Spas, posh restaurants and some hotels and AirBnBs keep small children from their premises.
Even as some peeved parents and grannies slated Blandford Manor for “tarring all children with the same brush” and for being “grumpy and overly precious”, others, including a B&B in Harrismith, posted on social media: “If parents cannot control their kids then I am fully behind Blandford Manor’s decision.” Others simply posted “bravo” to the decision.
It’s a trend in line with how society’s changed; having children – biological or otherwise – is no longer the expected norm. We have seen the emergence of a category of adults who choose to be child-free, and at the heart of it subscribe to the notion that “just as there are no-smoking areas, there should be child-free zones”.
Joburg-based creative parenting expert, speaker and author Nikki Bush is not surprised. It’s a trend she says will continue to mushroom. Western world view emphasises individualism, which means juggling competing needs and carving out more niches for the demands of everybody – children and adults alike.
“The same way there are places where cellphone use is discouraged, we’re going to see establishments making designated areas, or entire establishments going child-free,” she says.
Bush stresses, however, that the underlying issue is one of parenting; of parents’ creating boundaries for children that are in line not just with their personal choices, but with what society finds acceptable. It’s also about enforcing the rule of consequence.
“All children need boundaries to thrive.
“We want children to be integrated into society and not to be excluded, but children are also not the centre of everyone else’s universes.”
There’s a warning signal, too. She says: “Very often if a child is emotionally empty at home, they will act out in public. The ultimate challenge of parenting is to be fully present with your children; not distracted or disconnected in the time you spend with them.”
She says that parents can be guilty of dropping the ball when they’re in a safe, relaxed environment, such as a country estate. They become less vigilant and pay less attention and, as a result their children can become unruly or test boundaries more wilfully.
Another factor driving the call for child bans to be extended to the likes of airline flight schedules and train carriages, is the power of so-called Dinks (Double Income, No Kids).
Dinks exert consumer muscle that rivals the spending power of parents who regularly fork out for the best of everything for their children.
For the business savvy, it’s about tailoring experiences – offering a custom focus for specific groups – rather than being all things to all people.
It’s the rise of child-friendly venues of jumping castles, kiddies’ menus and child-minders on the one hand, and venues that punt tranquillity, unplugging and the promise of no one playing hide-and-seek at the buffet table as draw-cards, on the other.
Saturday Star