I’m standing outside the school gates as the Grade Rs line up outside, each one assigned their own block, 1.5m apart. Masks on and no touching each other.
It’s a scene that plays out in schools across South Africa, like something from a dystopian future, only this time it’s real.
Beside them, there’s red tape around the playground, a forgotten relic associated with a carefree life when break time was about pushing your friend on the swing, taking turns on the monkey bars and quick hugs before the bell rings. It’s hard to imagine it was only a year ago.
There’s been common thread among parents on forums and WhatsApp groups - their children miss their friends and just want to continue with extra mural activities.
Cape Town resident Inge Petersen shared this sentiment, saying her daughter, Tiffany, 6, only really socialised in a school environment. “When she’s not at school, she asks when is class because she misses her friends.”
“She’s a very social person so she gets sad from time to time when she can’t see them.”
The mom said it’s been especially hard for her little girl as the lockdown hasn’t afforded her enough time to spend with her grandparents.
For single mom Tshego Lepule, lockdown brought a whole new set of challenges, including juggling work, home-schooling, feedings and entertaining her son.
“The beginning of lockdown was even harder when everything closed down, but luckily my mother was trapped with us this side and was able to look after her grandson while I had to work as an essential worker.”
She recalled not being able to throw a birthday party for her son, Tshepang, 9, last year during the hard lockdown: “His cake had a matchstick because we were not allowed to buy birthday candles.”
And for Tshepang, the things he misses most about life before lockdown is the flexibility: “I miss being able to go anywhere and do anything without worrying about a mask. I miss going to the beach, visiting my friends and playing sports at school, which is still cancelled. I guess I also miss visiting my grandmother because now I can't travel as much.”
Counselling psychologist Rakhi Beekrum said: “Change can be stressful and the last year has been a year of unparalleled change. Being cooped up at home, the disruption of normal schooling and the cessation of social activities can cause anxiety, loneliness and in some cases, depression”.
She noted these struggles might manifest in irritability, tantrums, withdrawal, sleep issues and worry.
And while children have proven to be resilient, not all children have had the same experiences, support structures, resources and coping mechanisms.
For some, Covid-19 has robbed them of their childhood and making future memories as they deal with the loss of a parent or caregiver, causing immense psychological trauma.
Beekrum said children might experience post traumatic stress. The Durban-based psychologist said the condition could present itself in children who have been adversely affected by the pandemic and who have not had adequate support, coping skills or professional intervention.
It is important for parents to look out for changes in behaviour such as withdrawal, loss of appetite, sleep problems and somatic complaints.
“Children are not always able to verbalise their feelings, so it is important for parents to check in with them, on how they’re coping and open channels of communication,” concluded Beekrum.
* Rakhi Beekrum is a counselling psychologist based in Durban North. Visit: www.rakhibeekrum.co.za