I recently attended a birthday party for the 3-year-old daughter of my oldest friend, whom I've known since I was a baby. My father was the best man in his father's wedding.
Our lives have taken many turns, but here we are in adulthood with children the same age, spending much of our time together. It's wonderful to know that my children will have the same history with his children. Many of my friends are people I have known since childhood, and those bonds have had a profound impact on my life.
Friendship is often underrated, considering the tremendous impact it has on our well being. Early-childhood friendship is something that is frequently overlooked as a positive developmental influence.
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We don't always realise how attached young children are to their friends.
Recent research shows the importance of friendship, and its impact on mental and physical health. Preschool friendships are helpful in developing social and emotional skills, increasing a sense of belonging and decreasing stress.
People who feel lonely or socially isolated tend to be more depressed, have more health issues and may have a shorter lifespan. Having a great support system can help us deal with those hardships that everyone faces at some point.
There is no one-size-fits-all formula for friendship; people thrive socially in different ways. There are, however, ways to help children develop relationship skills that will cultivate deep, meaningful connections with others.
And it's important to note that the benefits of friendship are based on quality, not quantity.
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Here are some things parents can do to help their kids develop positive, warm friendships:
- Model the importance of staying connected. As I mentioned, my oldest friend is large in part an offshoot of my father's friendship. Over the years, no matter where we lived, my parents maintained their important friendships. The ability to nurture my friendships was shaped by watching my parents' dedication to their friendships.
- Model good friendship skills. Michele Borba, a parenting educator and author, suggests identifying one friendship skill your child lacks, then helping him develop it. If your child has trouble expressing feelings, for example, you could focus on doing that in a constructive way, either by sharing your own ("It makes me happy when you tell me you love me"), or by helping him label feelings ("Did it make you feel sad when your friend didn't want to play with you?").
- Encourage the friendships that are important to your child. If there is a relationship that brings your child joy, support it, even if the kids attend different schools. Scheduling time for them to see important friends outside of school, even if it's only once in a while, helps them stay connected. Parents magazine has great resources for navigating childhood friendships on its website.
- Respect your child's personality. Some children may have a lot of friends, and others may not need many friends to feel happy. It is important to celebrate and support your child's personality and needs. One child may be more outgoing than a sibling and it's important not to compare them, according to PBS' website.
The Washington Post