As Durban couple Ganas and Dhanum Pillay speak to the Independent on Saturday about their 61st wedding anniversary, R ‘n’ B love songs play on the radio in the background.
The Pillays will celebrate their Diamond + 1 anniversary on March 11.
They attribute their longevity to trust, love, faith and compromise.
The couple met in December 1961 and wed on March 11, 1962.
“I grew up in Clairwood. I was the youngest of four kids. His mother saw me at an engagement and liked me for her son. The following week they came and spoke to my parents about arranging a marriage. We were given some time to talk outside and we both agreed,” Dhanum, 78, said.
“When we first met and during the proposal for the marriage with the families, I was excited and happy that I met the right person to be my wife,” Ganas, 89, said.
The couple agreed that the love grew after the wedding, which was celebrated with 200 guests.
Ganas said that when he worked as a supervisor at a Davenport clothing factory, he always called her during his lunch time from a phone booth and Dhanum would wait for his call.
“Although I was young (Dhanum was 17 and Ganas 28), I was excited to be going into a new home and it was a large family of six boys and three girls and I had to get used to that,” she said.
The couple runs a home business making samoosa; Dhanum creates the filling and Ganas makes and folds the pastries. The couple said their recipe for sticking together was trust, love, commitment and sharing responsibilities.
Dhanum said that the grace of God helped them in their marriage, from their conversion from Hinduism to Christianity, to parenting their four children, two sons and two daughters ‒ Radha, Ashen, Danny and Priyen. They have seven grandchildren and one great-grandchild.
Dhanum said they taught their children what is right and instilled faith into them.
“When I was growing up, my family had a business and my parents taught me the discipline that I passed on to my children and so far they are raising their kids the same way. Obeying your parents, you live longer. We move by the grace of God and the fact that I will be turning 90 next year is by the grace of God. We don’t let bad times get us down,” Ganas said.
Their advice for young couples who want long relationships is to love God and compromise.
“Love God, believe in Him and your marriage. Sometimes you have to give in and sometimes he will give in. Understand your partner,” said Dhanum.
“The world is changing. Young couples have choices and we have to advise them to make the right choice and find a suitable partner. That will help them avoid going from woman to woman or man to man. The goal is to choose the right partner and make a family and live a good life,” Ganas said.
Although they had an arranged marriage, the couple did not arrange their children’s marriages. Dhanum said they tried a different approach. “We advised them to look for suitable partners who share their values and religious beliefs to make it easier to stay together,” she said.
The family will celebrate together at their son’s Durban North home.
The Independent on Saturday